💎 I’m suffocating

Gem #67 The portrait that set me free

Bonjour my little demon,

Whether you just joined or have been here from the beginning, thank you so much for reading 🖤.

I spent the week designing a new character I’m determined to turn into something iconic… Let me show you how it all began.

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• Read previous Gems

• Discover my journey to becoming a professional artist

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TODAY’S GEM

Lately, creating has felt... heavy.

I only really noticed it last Wednesday, while I was working in my atelier: I’d spent the past few days deep in research mode for the upcoming Patreon launch and my head felt like a watermelon.

I needed to breathe.

So I grabbed my pencils, hoping to sketch something. Anything. But nothing really sparked. And that’s when I had a thought: Why does drawing feel so hard?

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1-Suffocating…

At first, I thought it was just the summer : I’ve always been a winter person. Summer tends to mess with my focus—I feel slower, foggier, less inspired.

But the next day, I talked to a friend and what he told me stopped me in my tracks:

“You’re not uninspired. You’re suffocating. You’ve been pushing content non-stop. Always new characters. Always trying to keep up. Of course you’re frustrated! You’ve been stuck doing short studies when your art wants to go further.”

He was right.

I’ve spent the first half of the year giving everything to my course and my community. Creating new characters, mentoring students, keeping the rhythm on social media.

And in the middle of all that, my art got smaller.

Not in quality—but in freedom.

Most of my recent drawings were my signature portraits sheets. They had a purpose. But they didn’t leave much room to explore.

And I think that’s why I started to feel stuck. Not because I didn’t have ideas... But because I didn’t give them space to grow.

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2 – Back to play

So I went back to the atelier with one intention: Have fun. No rules. No studies. No pressure to teach or perform.

Just play.

And when I looked around for a starting point, I saw Tsuki.

Always staring at me with her little gremlin face… Always acting like she owns the place… Why not turn her into a character?

For the first time in months, I felt that spark again.

I started imagining stories, sketching poses, designing characters.

Not for Instagram.
Not for a lesson.
Just for me.

And here’s the character sheet that came out of it:

The concept: In daylight, she roams as a cat, slipping through the shadows of ruined groves and abandoned shrines. When night falls, she takes the shape of a woman, her eyes gleaming under the moonlight. She searches for those who have damaged the places she protects, drawing them in with calm beauty… before delivering her punishment.

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Conclusion

I want this page to be the beginning of something bigger. The old me would probably move on to the next character already. But this time… I’m craving something extraordinary.

More storytelling.
More experiments.
More freedom.

And I’d love to take this design to the next level… So, where should I take it from here?

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