👋 Goodbye Regard Noir
#53 or how to rise from ashes
Dear little demon,
Welcome to the edition #53 of The Art Missive. We are 24,707 😈 in this newsletter and whether you've been here from the start or just arrived, thank you so much for reading ❤.
If you haven't already, you can also:
Read all the previous Art Missives
Ask your questions for the next QaAs here
In this Missive:
1/ Change.
2/ Not good enough.
3/ Trapped in the machine.
4/ The duty of artists.
5/ Au revoir Regard Noir.
6/ A new chapter.
1/ Change.
"Why don't you just tell them what you're going through?" my best friend says to me plainly.
"Because what I'm going through right now isn't what my readers are interested in."
"How can you be so sure?"
"My readers are looking for motivation, inspiration, or an escape. How am I supposed to uplift them if I tell them I'm on the verge of giving up myself?"
My best friend gives me that nonsense look: "You're an artist who can't seem to draw anymore and is about to leave behind 4 years of artistic journey. I think that can inspire anyone."
He ignores my pout and adds:
"People will appreciate your honesty. It can also reassure them that it's okay to experience blocks in their own art journey. Léa, you know that the missives where you're most vulnerable are the ones that bring them the most value."
"You're right, I need to reconnect with what I'm experiencing and honestly share it with them."
Welcome to edition #53 of the Art Missive, the week where I destroy Regard Noir.
2/ Not good enough.
Last Monday, 3 a.m.: I lie awake, staring at my ceiling. I've been going through this for months now. And tonight, I've reached my breaking point.
What I'm feeling right now is frustration. Frustration because I'm not becoming the artist I want to be. I keep drawing the same things, always falling short of my goals. It's frustrating to present works that feel too easy, lacking depth and meaning. I'm frustrated with myself for losing my creativity and not wanting to draw anymore.
Breathe in.
Every week, I imagine all the amazing artworks I could create but never get around to doing, all the things I should do but end up neglecting. My mind fills with negative thoughts and I get angry at myself.
Breathe out.
It's Monday, in a moment suspended between night and morning, and I realize I can't go on like this anymore.
3/ Trapped in the machine.
“I've got a great life, a great studio, a great community. How did I get here?" I've been mulling over this question in my head, over and over again. Every time, I come to the same conclusion: the problem is Regard Noir.
This alias, at first, was my way of building a community around my drawings. But over the years, with growth and expectations, Regard Noir has turned into a well-oiled machine, optimized to help me progress quickly.
The Regard Noir recipe is pretty straightforward:
Draw 1 to 3 portraits per week for my community.
Include a female and fantastical character.
Stick to graphite pencils.
Stick to my signature style.
Take all these ingredients and make 4 Instagram posts per week out of them.
For three years, I've been following these steps closely. I've stuck to them without looking for other ways. Thanks to Regard Noir, I've drawn a lot, improved quickly, and made my style better.
Thanks to Regard Noir, you found me and changed my life.
The problem is that Regard Noir has turned into this machine that I constantly have to feed with new portraits and new content. It's an efficient but sterile process that leaves me no room to experiment or learn new things. I'm stuck making works that might go viral but lack real meaning or story.... Trapped in a merciless process that leaves no room for failure... let alone rest.
It's Wednesday morning, I’m sitting in front of my blank sketchbook, and for the first time, I realize that I've made my art a slave to an implacable machine.
4/ The duty of an artist.
During these tough weeks, I found some comfort in reading Guweiz's artbooks:
“If you spend time developing yourself and your art, there’s always something incredibly special waiting to be found”.
In his first book, Guweiz emphasizes the importance of continuously learning new things, no matter your skill level. For instance, he makes sure to set aside time for personal projects to allow room for experimentation. In his second book, he reminds us that an artist's duty is also about evolving:
“It’s important to know that style doesn’t remain static. It’s the product of taste and skill, changing as its constituent parts gradually evolve”.
This made me realize why I was struggling to make new portraits every week: without experimentation, I lost my ability to create.
On Friday, as I read the last page of The World of Guweiz, I made the decision to break free from my chains and destroy Regard Noir.
5/ Goodbye Regard Noir.
Over the weekend, I focused on one thing: destroying Regard Noir, which took me 4 years to build (scary, right?).
1- Changing the system
Firstly, I decided to shut down the Regard Noir machine that was controlling my art and content creation. Instead, here's what I plan to implement, hoping it can help you improve your own artistic practice and overcome any blocks:
Putting my art at the center of the new system. Now, I create my artwork without compromise, focusing on experimentation and the purpose behind each work.
In the insightful book The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan, they advise starting each day with the one thing that's essential to you. So, I've decided to dedicate the first hours of my day to creating more thoughtful and meaningful artistic projects.
I'm also changing how I approach content creation, ensuring that it's the content that adapts to the art and not the other way around. I'll publish less frequently but prioritize high-quality content.
I'll also commit to learning new art skills every week, whether it's through exploring different mediums, taking art classes, or reading books.
2- Changing my name
The famous writer Emile Zola once said that a piece of art reflects the personality of its creator.
In other words, to be an artist, you have to be true to yourself.
Realizing this, I've decided to say goodbye to my alias "Regard Noir". In a way, displaying my real name, Léa Wai, is like a promise to myself to no longer embody the content creator, but rather the artist I aspire to be. It's also a promise I make to you, to remain genuine and share my true self with you.
So bid farewell to Regard Noir and let me (re)introduce myself properly: Hi, I'm Léa Wai, an artist who wants to touch people's hearts.
6/ A new chapter.
It's the start of a new arc in my journey and as big decisions call for big actions, I've decided to learn a new medium: oil painting. To do it right, I've reached out to the talented and amazing Vladislav Yashin, who's taken on the challenge of teaching me oil painting in just 2 weeks. So soon, I'll take you with me to Paris to meet him (I know, it’s exciting!).
With that, your love story with Regard Noir comes to an end but I hope to show you how we can rise from the ashes with Léa Wai.
Watch me, baby.
And that's all from me, see you next week! 😈
Léa
I LOVEDDD THIS ONE!!!! I don't know why it made me so emotional😭😭
I love this so much! Thank you so much for sharing it with us, I know it's so scary but you're doing what's right for you and it makes me feel like I can fly <3